i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
