Whod you bang
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
