none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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