Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
