I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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