i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize