ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
