Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
