I wish i was in the wii world.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
