it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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