would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
