my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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