I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
