That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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