I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
