Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize