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• (716): View more from New York

  The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just snuked. Sneezed and puked

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Youre having a picnic

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How is it??

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.

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• (619): View more from California

  He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp

  (1-619): View more from California

  Only you could benefit from a reckless driver

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