you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
