He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize