I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize