He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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