Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I love you. Go after that dick
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