Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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