why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize