proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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