Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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