I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize