im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
