I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
