im drinking this country out of the recession.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
