I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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