Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
