Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
