If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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