The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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