I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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