you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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