umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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