Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
