He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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