I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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