would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
