He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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