theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
