So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
