Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
