dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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