I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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