I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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