i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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