Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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