it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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