There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
