end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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