just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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