he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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