Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
