He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
