babies were throwing up all over the place
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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